Justin Kim

Jesus Wept!

“Jesus wept.”   What a powerful verse!  Just two words... probably the shortest verse in the Bible and yet, it must be one of the most powerful.  To conceive that God could and would weep for people is hard to fathom.  And if I understand this correctly, this isn’t just crying or sobbing or whimpering.  The word here is “wept.”  Wept is a past tense of the word, “to weep” and weeping is wailing and sobbing and whimpering and crying all put into one and it’s done uncontrollably. 

Lazarus has died.  Jesus sees Martha and Mary and others weeping, verse 33 says that “he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled.”  What does this verse mean and what does it tell us about Jesus?  Plenty!  Jesus, the Son of God, who came into the world is emotional.  He has a heart!  And He is moved by humanity and it’s need for Him.  He cares!  He cares for people like Lazarus, for Martha, and for Mary and because He cares, He wept.  Verse 5, earlier in chapter 11, the text makes clear that Jesus loved Martha, Mary and Lazarus.  And Jesus wept in such a way that others who witnessed this weeping also said in verse 36, “See how he loved him!”  I have seen people die and I have seen people weep for their loved ones.  In most cases, the weeping is truly a wailing.  It is uncontrolled crying out for their loved one who has just passed.  It is sad.  And there is this sense that this should not be right... that this is not right.  Death is not right.  Jesus was not only deeply moved, but he was greatly troubled!  Why was he troubled and what does it mean for me to be “troubled?”  Can God be troubled? 

I believe he was troubled because death is not right.  He saw the hurt and the agony and the pain that death brought to them.  He saw the sting of death and it wasn’t right.  Or maybe, just possibly... seeing death, it reminded him that one day, soon enough, that day will come for him as well. 

In any case, God was moved and troubled.  He wept for people.  Do I do that much?  Am I ever deeply moved for people?  This means, do I care?  Do I love people?  Am I compassionate? 
And am I deeply troubled by the pain and hurt that I see in people’s lives and what I see in the world around me?  What am I going to do about?  It doesn’t have to be something incredibly stupendous?  It can be something small to begin and then see where that leads.  But I must do something.  Lastly, do I weep for people?  Do I care that much for people to cry for them and cry with them. 

Jesus resurrected Lazarus from the dead.  Could this be a portrait of what he would do in the future?  Jesus would die, but unlike Lazarus, he would die a criminal’s death... beaten savagely... scorned and spat upon like he was nothing but a pig.  He died a horrific death, murdered on the Cross.  But he too would rise again and defeat death.  And in this death and resurrection, we have faith and we have hope and we have life. 

No more pain?  No more tears?  We will experience that in glory if people place their hope and lives in the Great I Am. 

Baby Baby

Yesterday, my wifey and I went to the hospital to visit our dear friends who just had their second kid.  Baby Kailie is beautiful!  She came into the world weighing just 6 lbs, 7 oz.  Mother, father, and baby are all doing well.  It was fun to be in that small hospital room with 5 little ones.  Noah, Ellie, Ryan, Tabitha, and Kailie.  The nurse came in to check on the mother and she was shocked to see so many toddlers/infants in the room!  But us parents/grandparents loved it!  Yesterday, not long after we came back home from the hospital, I got a phone call from another couple at our church who was in labor.  An hour later, baby Ayane came into the world weighing just 6 lbs, 2 oz.  I hear that mother, father, and baby are doing well.  My family and I hope to visit them later today.  We know of at least three other couples in our congregation who are prego and we are so excited to see the Lord bless our peeps with children.  Children truly are a blessing despite the amount of work that goes into raising a child. 

And it seems like baby news abounds these days.  I lived in Florida for about three years.  I hear many of my dear friends in Florida just had their babies or have one in the oven getting them ready.  It's exciting news for me especially because these friends are very dear to me.  My own little sister is about to have her first in a few weeks.  That means my parents will have two grandkids and my daughter will have a cousin to play with.  Babies are amazing!  I remember reading Psalm 139 often when my wifey was prego with Tabs.  Sometimes I stare at my daughter while she's sleeping or playing and I just marvel at God's beautiful work.  She is a masterpiece!  I look at her hands and feet, her fingers and toes, her eyes when she stares back at me.  I love kissing her hair, nose, ears, lips... she definitely is a reflection of half Justin, half Virginia.  But more than anything, she is a true reflection of our God.  She's beautiful like our God.  What a huge and horrible task we have as parents to protect them, provide for them, and to lead them in the way of the Lord and yet, what incredible privilege, blessing and joy to be given the task!  Jesus said in Mark 10:14 to let the little ones come to him.  He loved children!  He told believes to be like children in the sense of having faith and trust and dependence like they do.  We need to mature and graduate from milk to solid food but in the area of faith and trust, we are encouraged to emulate our children. 

Sometimes I look at Tabitha and I can't help but smile.  She's growing so fast.  Her personality is coming out.  I think she's going to be a handful to her mother and father.  But I love every minute I have with her.  What a precious gift she is from the Lord.  There are moments when I catch myself still amazed and shocked that I'm a daddy... that I have a daughter and a beautiful wifey.  I love it! 

  

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Prayer for Grace

Grace Kim attends my church here in the Pacific Northwest.  She is a wonderful child of God.  She directs our STAR ministry, which is a ministry to the children with disabilities.  On August 19, at 12 noon Pacific Time, she will go into surgery.  Please keep her, her doctors and nurses, and her family in your prayers. 

"Dear Lord, I pray for Grace.  May you speak softly and gently into her ears of your love for her.  Remind her that you do all things well and that no matter what happens, you can be trusted.  More than anything else, Lord, I pray that you would make it known to her that she is loved by you.  She is not alone in this time in the valley.  You are there with her.  You never leave her nor forsake her.  Lord, may she fight the fight of faith and I pray for a complete healing and recovery from all that ails her physical body.  Be with the doctors and the nurses.  Give them your wisdom and your guidance as they treat Grace.  Be with the family.  Allow your peaceful presence to overwhelm them with incredible sense of comfort.  Be with Grace.  Touch her with your healing touch.  More than anything else, may she love you more then ever before. 

In Jesus' Healing Name, Amen!"

Fear

Being scared is not fun.  Some people may find a certain thrill to it and that's why they watch horror movies, but I don't like being scared.  Who in the right mind likes being scared?  Most people probably would like to be thought of as someone who is bold, courageous and fearless.  These characteristics, after all, are admired and celebrated.  To be afraid is to be a wuss.  "Don't be a wimp!" is something I often heard growing up.  I hate watching horror films because I think fear is unhealthy.  Fear is of the devil.  The only scary stuff that I like to watch either on the big screens or on the television are zombie or vampire stuff.  I think it's because they remind me something of the world... that the whole human race is like the zombies or vampires if they don't know and embrace the gospel of Jesus.  They're alive but not really.  They move but really, they're dead. 

When I was young, my parents left me home alone one night to go somewhere.  I can't remember now where they went but it was the first time I was left home alone.  My parents asked me and I said I could do it.  Actually, I think I was the one to encourage them to leave because I thought to myself, "This is going to be great!  I can watch whatever I want on the television and I can eat whatever I want from the refrigerator!"  Well, that night... a thunderstorm came through the area.  I'm talking major lightning strikes that were thunderous along with heavy down-pour.  My parents said they'd be home at a certain time but they were really late.  As the hours went by and they didn't call or come home, I got more afraid by the second.  I was a boy gripped with fear!  I was so scared that night to a point that I can still recall this experience even now after many years have passed. 

Fear is an interesting emotion.  Stephen King, the prolific writer of horror books says that fear is the most physically debilitating of human emotions.  The blood pounds, the pores gush, the heart-rate increases.  Fear is the root of everything bad.  All sadness is based on fear.  Fear is a powerful emotion and I guess that's why Stephen King writes so many horror stuff and that's the reason why I dislike fear. 

Many people have asked me since I moved out to Seattle... whether I was afraid of the big move and whether I was afraid of doing ministry far away from close family and friends.  My answers were always, "Yes!  I was deeply afraid about the big move and about doing ministry at my new church."  I remember being incredibly afraid about my move to Seattle.  I felt like everyone I was talking to was trying to discourage me, intimidate me and tell me how difficult moving to Seattle and doing ministry here was going to be.  I thought to myself that no one needed to discourage me or to make me afraid because I already was!  You see, whenever I think about my ministry, I get incredibly fearful.  I think to myself, "Can God really use me?"  I know that I have to be more prayerful, more disciplined, be more on target with my sermons.  I know myself and I am lazy and undisciplined... I lack wisdom.  Those who knew about us moving to Seattle also knew how insecure I felt and how much fear I had in making such a big move and also doing ministry in the Northwest.  But here's the thing... the thought that came to me over and over again was ... it’s not about me.  It should be about Him.  Because after all, God’s going to do the ministry, not me.  He’ll do ministry through me.  I just need to trust God and allow Him to use me. 

I should be more confident not because I think I can do this, but because I know that God has sent me here... He’s commissioned my wife and I to be here.  It was so tough to say good-bye to family and friends on the East Coast.  Sometimes, there are days when I miss them terribly.  I think it would have been a lot easier just to have stayed in the East Coast, but I knew that God was calling us to Seattle and to leave the comfort and to take a step of faith.  To take the risk and to be challenged. 

I know to be more confident because I serve a Mighty God and He’s going to do some awesome things here in Seattle.  What should I be afraid?  Whom shall I fear? 

Psalm 23:4, “I will fear no evil!”
Psalm 27:1, “Whom shall I fear?”
Isaiah 35:4, “Be strong, do not fear.”
Joshua 1:6, “Be strong and courageous.”
1 Timothy 4:12, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.”

That night, when I was home alone amidst the biggest and longest thunderstorm I've ever experienced, I remember praying for God to help me to overcome my fear.  I prayed for my parents and my sister to come home.  I prayed that God would protect me and make me feel better.  I believe He heard my prayers that night and I believe He still hears my prayers today.  Later that night, my parents did come home.  They had some car trouble along the way which caused them to be so late.  I was so mad at them!  But at the same time, I was so relieved and happy to see them.  

What are you fearful of today?  Fear of failure?  Fear of death?  Fear of life?  Fear of being lonely?  Fear of dying alone?  Fear that you'll be single for the rest of your life?  Fear that you won't ever be a parent?  Fear of drowning?  Fear of people?  Fear that no one loves you?  Fear that no one cares about you?  Fear of your parents passing away?  Fear of work?  Fear of being found out?  Fear of scary animals?  Fear of bugs?  Fear of rejection?  Fear of work?  Fear of ministry?  Fear of being poor?  Fear of losing your house?  Fear of losing your job?  Fear of being friendless?  Fear that your team will never win the championship?  Fear of the future?  Fear that your past will catch up to you?  Fear of the dark?  Fear of the devil?  Fear that you can't do it?  Fear that you won't make it?  Fear that everything will go wrong?  Fear of being a bad husband?  Fear of being a bad wife?  Fear of being a bad sibling?  Fear of losing a friend?  Fear of getting into a car accident?  Fear of being late?  Fear of your boss?  Fear that your relationship will end?  Fear that you'll get a bad grade in class?  Fear that you can't cut it?  Fear that you're not smart enough?  Fear of being fearful?  Fear of not having enough strength and courage in your life?  Fear, fear, fear!  What are you fearful of today?   

"Dear Lord,
I am human so forgive me if I have fear in my heart.  I fear failure and not doing a good job.  I fear of being smug and being self-content.  I fear people.  I need you to guide me and give me great wisdom.  I need your strength, perseverance and your Holy Spirit to rest upon me.  My preaching needs to be better not so that people will be enamored with me, but so that they will be fed like never before... so that they might see the glory of Christ and a clearer revelation of who You are.  I need to be more prayerful not so that I can boast in my spirituality, but so that I can find myself humbled and be more dependent on you than on my own limited gifts and talents.  I need to be more studious and more spiritual.  I need You and I need to hear Your voice more than anything else.

O God, rid of me any fears!  Fear of man, fear of failure, fear of indifference, fear of the future... every fear except the fear of the Lord!  Breathe strength and courage into my heart and my soul! 

In Jesus’ Mighty Name,
Amen!"

The Money god

"The lover of money will not be satisfied with money; nor the lover of wealth, with gain. This also is vanity. When goods increase, those who eat them increase; and what gain has their owner but to see them with his eyes?"  - Ecclesiastes 5:10-11

I preached on money, wealth and finances this past Sunday.  It's not my favorite subject or theme to preach from the pulpit.  I've seen too many churches get jacked up because of money issues and I know that talking about money in the church is always a sensitive thing.  Three subjects that I've noticed to really put people on the edge of their seats and make them feel uncomfortable are the subjects of sex, politics and money.  This coming Sunday, I'll be preaching on sex and this past Sunday, I preached on money... so it'll be interesting to see the response I'll get from my congregation these next two weeks.  But regardless of the responses and whether people like it or not, the Bible has a lot to say about these subjects.  So I tackled the subject of money & finances.  I know that these are tough times economically.  I know of folks in my own church who are dealing with joblessness and struggling to make ends meet.  But I think it is imperative that the Church, the people of God, understand that we must not allow money to be the source of our hope, our security, our identity, our significance... to be a god in our lives. 

Now, I don't want to write my whole sermon here... it would be too long for you to read and you probably don't have all the time in the world to be reading blogs anyways.  But here's what I've got to say about money. 

Money is relatively a good thing in the Bible... especially in the book of Proverbs.  We all need money to make it in this world.  The Church needs money to do ministry and so on and so forth.  There is a strong connection between hard work, originality, creativity, self-control, discipline with prospering... prospering materially and economically.  Proverbs like "Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth," or "He who gathers crops in the summer is wise, but he who sleeps during harvest time is disgraceful."  Proverbs 10:22 says, "The blessing of the LORD brings wealth."  So money and wealth are incredibly great gifts from God.  But money also has incredible spiritual danger attached to it.  For example, money has the power to destroy integrity according to Proverbs 11:1.  Secondly, money has the power to destroy community because you become self-absorbed according to Proverbs 11:26.  Thirdly, money has the power to distract us from what is really important in life.  Proverbs 11:4 says, "Wealth is worthless in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death."  This verse is talking about judgment day.  Questions like "What is my life amount to?", "What am I really doing with my life?", "What difference am I making in the world?", "Who am I really helping?", and "What contribution am I making?."  Wealth blinds us to judgment day questions.  Wealth instead pulls us away and sucks us into a frantic cycle and a frantic life of consumption. 

Lastly, money makes us proud and over-confident according to Proverbs 30:8-9.  When people have money, they often tend to say, "I don't need God.  Why in the world would I need God for?  I have everything I want and need."  Who's the LORD?"  There is nothing like economic success to make one feel over-confident.  The more money a person makes and the more successful he or she becomes, the more the person will think he or she got it because they were so smart or so disciplined.  And this makes the person feel over-confident and proud.  Bernard of Clairvaus once said, "To see a man humble under prosperity is the greatest rarity in the world."  

I don't know about you but integrity and character, community and humility are all important to me.  I don't want the might of money to destroy these things in me.  I don't want money to control me and how I live my life.  My wifey and I are not rich.  We don't have anything saved up for the future but we are hoping to start very soon.  We only have one car.  We don't own a house... we rent.  We live off of one income so that my wifey can stay home and be a mom to our daughter... it's been tough at times.  We've had to dip into our savings and learn some hard lessons along the way.  Budgeting and staying true to our budget has been equally difficult especially for a guy like me who's not as detailed oriented.  But with all of this, still I feel that we are incredibly rich and wealthy.  We've always had food on our tables and a roof over our heads.  We're not living for this world or trying to be comfortable.  We're trying to be more "Christ-like."  This world is not our home.  We are just passing through.  We are resident aliens in this world.  We have a Father who owns a thousand cattle on a thousand hills.  My Father is rich!  We know that there are people all over the world that can't eat like we do and don't have anything near what we have in terms of shelter and just basic neccesities of life.  So what God gives to us, we accept and we are thankful.  I know that others who read this will not like what I've written.  But it's safe to say that all of us (including myself), whether we know it or not, or whether we like it or not... have too much love for money.  It has become either our significance or our security.  Money either makes you feel important and proud or it makes you feel safe and secure.  Instead of God being our significance and security, money is.  It is the alternative to God and it has enormous spiritual power over us. 

We need to be aware of this.  Now if you are someone who is struggling to make ends meet... or maybe you're not even doing that... I know that our country is in recession.  But God is still God and He is still in control.  He's sovereign over the affairs of men.  He knows what He is doing.  We can trust Him for all things.  And even if God doesn't do what we'd like for Him to do concerning our money and finances... let that not change our commitment to live for Him and our devotion to Him.  Even if He doesn't save us from this economic crunch, "Blessed be His Holy Name!"  You have a wealth Father and you are truly rich beyond all measure. 

Habakkuk 3:17-18, "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on teh vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there areno sheep in the pen and no cattle in teh stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior."

If God has given you wealth, that's great.  More power to you... or I should say, "more money to you!"  But with wealth comes great responsibility to be a great steward of what God has given you.  Use it wisely.  Apply the scattering principle, which is that the more you scatter your wealth, the more you'll gather wealth in a different form.  It's called "Agricultural wealth."  Proverbs 11:24 and Psalm 112 pretty much says that he who scatters gathers and he who gathers scatters.  It's a paradox, but it works in God's economy.  In agriculture, you scatter seed and the more you scatter, the more you gather.  The more you sow, the more you reap.  But if you hold onto our seeds and won't scatter them, you'll starve.  But if you're willing to scatter your seeds and give it all away, you'll gather.  Now when you gather, it comes back in a better form.  The only way for you to turn your wealth into real riches is by giving it away.  I'm not talking about the wealth and health prosperity junk that's out there.  I'm not saying that if you give it away, God is somehow going to make you richer in the end... no.  I'm saying God will give you wealth in a different form.  Also, you will have broken the power of money over yourself. 

In 2 Corinthians 8, St. Paul is trying to get people to give to the poor.  And in doing so, he doesn't go after their will.  He doesn't say to them, "You better give or God is going to punish you!"  He also doesn't go after their emotions.  He doesn't say to them, "You have to give because these people are so poor and look how much they're suffering..."  He goes after their hearts!  2 Corinthians 8:8 says, "No!  Listen.  You know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.  That though He was rich, for our sake He became poor.  So that you through His poverty might become rich."  He's talking about Jesus.  Jesus Christ on the cross was literally broken into pieces.  On the cross, he was broken.  On the cross, he was distributed.  On the cross, he was scattered.  Why?  So that we could be gathered.  Paul is calling us to see that Jesus on the Cross became the ultimate scattering to gather, the ultimate example of agricultural wealth.  The cross is the picture of the ultimate act of generosity, the ultimate act of wealth distribution, the ultimate place of becoming poor in order to get real riches.  Jesus gave up heaven and glory because He valued us more than those things.  Jesus Christ is the ultimate treasure who died for us.  Give your wealth away and you'll receive ultimate joy.

I think the church needs to learn how to tithe.  How a church gives is a reflection of how the church is doing.  Proverbs 11:24 says, "One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty."  The part about "withholds unduly..." is talking about a stingy person who is not giving away what is required.  What would be required?  In the Bible, it says 10%.  In many places in the Bible, it's says that if you're not giving away at least 10% of your income to charity and to ministry every year, then you are disobeing God's rule for generosity.  But I think it's more than that... tithe is the rule, but the Cross is the wisdom.  Jesus didn't save us by tithing His blood.  Jesus didn't save us by tithing His glory.  We are alive by His giving of everything!  Jesus' Cross means sacrificial giving.  Don't you dare think you're being wise about money if you only tithe!  If it's not making any measureable difference in the way in which you live, in the way in which you do things, in the way you take your vacations, in the way in which you buy things... you're obeying the rule, but you haven't brought the cross into your economic life.  Everything already belongs to God... He's just letting us keep most of what He's given to us.  An authentic believer who is striving to live in obedience to God, who is loving God will tithe faithfully to his or her church, but on top of that... they will give sacrificially to charities and to missionaries and to other ministries.  This is hard, but this is God's wisdom for His people. 

Jesus Christ gave himself away and look at his harvest!  It's you... it's me... it's the people of God! 

"No one can sever two masters.  Either you will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.  You cannot serve both God and Money." (Matthew 6:24)

"Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness.  Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD.  But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living.  But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."  (Joshua 24:14-15)

As for the Kim Family... we will serve the LORD! 

Wedding Bliss

In less than two hours, I will be officiating a wedding.  It will be my second time ever officiating a wedding and for some reason, I'm not that nervous.  I was incredibly nervous at my first one, but I feel more confident today.  As I have a moment right now, I'm feeling incredibly contemplative and nostalgic about my own wedding day.  My wifey and I got married on November 24, 2007.  I can't believe how fast time has flown by, but I still remember that day as if it happened yesterday.  We had a great wedding rehearsal and dinner with family and friends.  Our wedding day itself was just perfect.  The autumn falls were turning and falling and despite being a bit chilly, the sun was out.  I woke up knowing that my life is about to change forever.  Not only that, I woke up incredibly thankful that God brought me the perfect girl for me.  I had waited 30 years for her and today, I was going to meet my soul-mate. 

 

We woke up early to take pictures... first at the hotel and then at the church.  It was a great time of fellowship and fun as the guys and gals in the wedding party laughed and posed and pretended that we were all superstars.  I began to get really nervous about half an hour before the start of the ceremony.  My boys and I went to the side of the room and they prayed over me.  They prayed for me, for Virginia, for our marriage, and for our ceremony.  I was so encouraged and so thankful for my groomsmen.  The wedding started and off we went to our places.  The Processional went perfectly with each bridesmaids coming down beautifully and radiantly.  All eyes were rightly fixed on them.  Even the flower girl, Eden, and the ring boy, Curtis... they were just perfect!  And then finally, my beautiful bride made her entrance with her dad.  Whenever I am in guest at a wedding, at these moments when the bride makes her entrance, I would often look back at the groom standing at the altar.  I would like to see what his reaction was.  Often, the look on the groom's face was blissful joy.  I wondered what people would think when they looked at my face.  All I remember is that my eyes were glued to her and it was the happiest moment of my life.  She was beautiful... splendidly dressed in her white gown... indescribable joy welled up in me.  I was in love all over again.  And in my heart and mind, I praised God for giving me such a wonderful gift. 

 

The ceremony went perfectly.  The officiating pastor did a superb job.  Everyone who was involved with the ceremony, including our wedding coordinators did a great job.  I was so happy.  My new bride was so happy.  The reception times were fun and full of laughter.  My favorite part was watching my wifey dance with her daddy.  It was a dance of love.  I don't remember much from the reception, except that we took a lot of pictures and laughed a lot.  I do remember my wifey and I winning the dancing competition.  It was great!

I think it's so right to have a wedding in front of family and friends because to not do so would not do justice to the great moment.  I think it's also right that these great moments are celebrated in the Presence of God.  Weddings are important to God.  Marriage was sanctified and blessed by God.  The Book of Ephesians exalts marriage as the clearest picture of Christ's relationship with His church.  Among all human relationships, marriage is the most sacred, satisfying and permanent. 

Lord, you are a God of love.  Thank you for lavishing love upon my wifey and me.  May our lives be marked with love that comes from knowing you.

Bless me as a husband.  May my strength be her protection, my character be her boast and her pride and may I live in such a way that she may find in me the haven for which the heart of a woman truly longs. 

Bless my loving wife.  Give her a tenderness that will make her great, and a deep sense of understanding and a great faith in you.  Giver her that inner beauty of soul that never fades, that eternal youth that is found in holding fast the things that never age.

Teach us that marriage is not living merely for each other; it is two uniting and joining hands to serve you.  Give us a greater spiritual purpose in life.  May we seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness.  May we minimize each other's weaknesses, be swift to praise and magnify each other's strengths, and see each other through a lover's kind and patient eyes.

May we never take each other's love for granted.  And when life is done and the sun is setting, may we be found then as now still, thanking God for each other.  May we serve you happily, faithfully, together, until at least one shall lay the other in the arms of God.  Amen. 

Thank you for the gift of marriage.  Thank you my wifey. 

All In!

Blaise Pascal was a French mathematician, physicist, and by all means, a man of God.  He was a smart man of God.  Supposedly, he was a child prodigy in the area of natural and applied sciences.  He was also quite good at math.  For example, he helped create two major new areas of research and he also wrote a treatise on the subject of projective geometry.  He did all this by the age of sixteen!  When I was sixteen, I was too busy popping pimples on my face and trying to make the varsity baseball team.  Not so with Blaise!  What a cool name by the way.  "Blaaaise"... sort of like "Blaze!"  Love it!  Maybe later on, if my wifey and I have a son and my wifey still doesn't like the name "Barnabas," we'll maybe name the kid "Blaise." 

Anyways, later on... Blaise abandoned his scientific work and devoted himself to philosophy and theology.  I've read one of his theological and devotional works entitled, Pensées.  Good stuff!  It was too deep for me at times, but I remember thinking... "Wow!  What a great and incomprehensible piece of work!"  He did have a religious conversion due to sickness and to a near-death experience.  He had a lot of pain in his body which disabled him.  His head ached and his bowels burned... his legs and feet were continually cold.  All of this made Blaise moody and irritable, but prepared him to desire another reality if you know what I mean.  In October 1654, Blaise was involved in an accident crossing over a bridge.  For some reason, the horses got spooked and ran off the bridge.  In the end, the horses plunged into the water and the carriage that Blaise was in nearly followed them.  Fortunately, the reins broke and the coach hung halfway over the edge. Pascal came out of this unscathed, but it did leave an indelible mark on his mind about death, life, and the realities of life after death.  On 23 November 1654, between 10:30 and 12:30 at night, Pascal had an intense religious vision and immediately recorded the experience in a brief note to himself which began: "Fire. God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob, not of the philosophers and the scholars…" and concluded by quoting Psalm 119:16: "I will not forget thy word. Amen."  He wrote this down and always carried it with him wherever he went.  This piece is now known as the Memorial.

For me, one of the things that I really like about Blaise was his depth in thinking about life, death, and the realities of another world.  Blaise often approached the existence of God by asking us instead to assume the point of view of the gambler at a poker table.  Every gambler, he says, takes a certain risk for an uncertain gain.  If there are as many chances on one side as on the other, you are playing for the same odds.  And in that case the certainty of what you are risking is equal to the uncertainty of what you may win.  Now to apply this to our lives, what a person are wagering or what a person is riaking is his or her eternal life and happiness as compared with his or her finite life and unhappiness.  To say that there is an eternal life is a way of affirming the existence of God.  But how do we know that God exists?  We simply do not know.  The issue, then, is a matter of a wager.  There are four possible outcomes to the wager, which have radically different consequences.  Blaise says this...

1. If God exists, and we believe in Him, then our reward will be infinitely great.
2. If God exists, and we do not believe in Him, then we will lose out on this reward.
3. If God does not exist, and we believe in Him, then we've gained or lost nothing.
4. If God does not exist, and we do not believe in Him, then we've gained or lost nothing.

Why risk or put a unnecessary wager on a lose/lose situation.  Why not go "all in" in something you know can give you incredible reward and return.  If God doesn't exist and I was completely wrong about my faith... what have I lost?  To live as a believer involves incredible sacrifice but in the end, you've lost time, maybe resources, or pride... but what does all that matter if God didn't exist after all?!  You'd be in oblivion and you wouldn't know it anyways or you'd have reincarnated as a bug and that's that.  Game over.

Now, let's say that God doesn't exist and I didn't live for Him.  Then you've played your cards decently... you've gained nothing because after you die, you become nothing.  But you've also won nothing... because you're still nothing and that's that.  Game over.

But let's say that God does exist... and you didn't live for Him.  You're in "deep kimchi" then.  You've calculated your life all wrong and you've lived for all the wrong things.  Not to mention that your future, your eternal future looks incredibly dim.  Game is really over and you'll have to deal with your eternal debt!

On the other hand, let's say that God does exist... and let's say you've lived for God and love God and believe in God... in the end, you've won and you've gained everything.  I don't know about you, but I'm going "all-in" with Jesus!  

Anger!

I've been around a angry dad for many years.  When I was growing up, I saw my dad blow up in anger so often.  Half the time I couldn't even figure out why he was so ticked.  My mom thinks it's because he was in the Vietnam War and he saw a lot of violence and experienced horrible things.  Added to that, the hard life of an immigrant and trying to cope with a new environment, a new culture and language... it adds up and I can see why my dad had so many frustrations in him.  In Korea, he was high up in the Korean Army.  From what I've heard, he had a great career and he was well respected.  He was a man of dreams and all of those dreams died when he moved to the U.S.  From a highly respectable place in society and career, he ended up working in a Dry Cleaning business.  Nothing against Dry Cleaning... it's helped put my sister and I through college and put food on our tables.. it's hard work, but we've done okay.  But I've seen my dad deal with awful customers and just being unable to communicate his feelings.  I love my dad.  But I hated his angry temperament.  When I was younger, I thought my dad passed his anger onto me.  I'd blow up out of nowhere.  Twice, my dad and I had a physical altercation.  Those days were tough days.  My dad is different now.  He's changed significantly.  A lot of this change came about because of his faith and his maturity in Christ.

But going back to anger... this emotion has a powerful affect on people's lives.  Proverbs 14:29-30 and other places in the Wisdom literature tell us that anger has so much power to destroy and disintegrate.  It has the power to destroy your physical life, your community, and your will.  Anger is an explosion, the dynamite of the soul.  Anger can be so destructive. 

But anger is also basically a good thing.  Proverbs 16:32 says, "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city."

The principle in the Bible concerning anger is not no anger, or blowing up anger, but rather slow anger.  According to the Bible, the ideal is slow anger.  This is confusing since I always thought we were suppose to be people who never got angry.  In Ephesians 4:26, Paul says, "In your anger, do not sin."  In other words, be angry, but sin not!  John Chrysostom, an early Christian preacher summarizes the goodness of anger perfectly.  He said, "He that is angry without cause sins; he that is not angry when there is cause, sins.  For unreasonable patience is the hotbed of many vices." 

I realize this is so because God is like this.  God is slow to anger.  The Bible again and again says, "God is slow to anger.  I've heard people say things like, "I believe in a God of love, not in a God who gets angry."  But after further thought, if you have a God who never gets angry, you can't have a God of love... because if you never ever get angry about anything, you don't love anything.  If you love and you see what you love being threatened, you'll get angry!  If you're indifferent, you're not in love.  I think true love always gets angry.  Love, in its uncorruppted origin is just love moved to deal with the threat to someone you love.  And this is wy when the Bible says God is angry all the time is because He is a God of love.  God is angry at the cancer of sin that's destroying the human race, which He made and He loves.  If you look at Jesus in the Bible, he got angry a lot because he loves and cares.  He got angry at the money changers at the temple in John 2.  He got angry at the religious leaders in Mark 3.  He got angry at the tomb of Lazarus in John 11.  He got angry because he was a man of love, of perfect love, of pure love.  He gets angry, but he sins not. 

We get angry because our anger is disordered.  Our disordered anger comes from our disordered love.  St. Augustine says that the biggest problem we have is disordered loves.  Disordered loves means that there are many things in this world that are good like your family, your kids, your jobs, your accomplishments, etc.  There are many things in this world that are good, but we turn good things into ultimate things.  We don't just love things that are good, but we look to these things to give us the happiness, the significance, and the security and the self worth that only God can give.  We have disordered love, which leads to disordered anger.  But anger that is proper and right is anger that comes from a deep place of knowing God and caring for which that He cares for.  Fighting off indifference and loving people and a healthy anger that is slow to come about.

When we consider God... I think in reality, though many would not admit it... we are mad at Him.  We want this and we want that, but God hasn't given it to us and we are mad.  We are in denial but the proof that we are mad at God and it's the most unjustified, the most disordered, the most hurful possible rage, but the proof that it is there is when God became human and we killed him.  When God became vulnerable and killable, we killed him.  When He got within our clutches, we took hold of Him and we took him to the cross and we mocked him.  We beat him.  We tortured him.  We reviled him.  Jesus didn't just our undeserved anger, but He also took the anger we deserved.  In the Garden of Gethsemane, he asked that the cup of God's wrath... the cup of God's anger be lifted away from him but if it be God's will, he would do it.  On the cross, Jesus took our anger which He did not deserve, but He also took the anger that we deserved.  He could've paid us back with righteous anger, but instead with gentle words, Jesus said, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." 

Thank you Jesus.  

Blue Poop

Okay, the blue poop turned out to be the blueberries that Tabitha was munching on.  It was bizarre to see a blueberry skin stuck in her butt-hole.  I carefully grabbed the skin and nonchalantly tossed into the trash can.  But blue poop?!  Have you ever seen blue poop?  Kids at this age seem to not worry what goes into their mouths at all.  I remember hearing about how a mom walked into a room to see her baby munching on something.  She wondered what the heck her daughter was eating because she didn't give her child anything.  It turned out to be a spider!  Imagine what could've come out of that child's butt!  I see Tabitha fearlessly putting everything and anything into her mouth.  It's probably because she's not used to having teeth.  I often see her shoving her whole hand into her mouth, feeling for the fangs that she's been given and then looking up at me as to say, "What the heck are these things in my mouth?  Why are they in my mouth?  What are they used for?"  I'd say, "They are used to bite people ... especially those that don't tithe and serve in the church... people like... "  I'm joking.  

One thing that's clear in all of this is that what goes in ultimately comes out.  Physically, if we eat something, it'll find it's way out somehow or another.  For example, blueberries = blue poop.  It's the same way spiritually and emotionally.  If we put unhealthy elements into our thinking and into our hearts, it's bound to find its way out.  Not only that, it affects us in a negative manner from the inside out.  Bad music, bad movies, bad words, bad literature, bad whatever... we put bad junk in us and it begins to pollute our thinking and our feeling and it affects everything in us.  It's the same concept as "you play with fire, you're bound to get burned."  Well, you put bad things in you... it's going to come out of you as well.  We best be wise about what's going in us because it does affect us.  I think about the verse found in 1 Cor. 10:23, "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.  Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive."  You can do whatever you want, but why do it if it's not beneficial?   If it's not constructive and helpful to yourself, to others, to the situation... why do it? 

What goes in ultimately comes out.  More of His grace, more of His love... more of Jesus... I want more of Him in me. 

Son of Encouragement

William Arthur Ward once said, "Flatter me, and I may not believe you.  Criticize me, and I may not like you.  Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.  Encourage me, and I will not forget you.  Love me and I may be forced to love you."

When my wife was prego with our daughter, we went through name after name.  At that time, we didn't know if it was a boy or a girl.  But if the child was a boy, I wanted to name him Barnabas.  There were a few other names that I liked as well, but Barnabas stuck out for me.  My wife probably doesn't remember this, but when I mentioned the name, she shot it down quickly and with might.  She thought the kid will get ridiculed and be called "Barney" the rest of his life.  Well, I still like the name and I like the person in the Bible even more!

Barnbas the man isn't mentioned much throughout the Bible but whenever he does appear, he's always seen in positive light.  The first time he's mentioned in the Bible is Acts 4:36.  "Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostle called Barnabas (which means Son of Encouragement), sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostle's feet."  Wow!  What a man of character.  His real name was Joseph and right away we see a glimmer of what sort of man he was.  He was a man of great kindness and generosity.  He sold what he had and then gave it away to meet the needs of the church.  But more than that, the apostles called him Barnabas, which was his nickname.  Everyone has nicknames, right?  When I was younger, folks called me "Roadrunner" like the cartoon character because I ran fast and it seemed I would never tire.  In football, my coach called me, "Studpuppy," because... well, obviously i was!  I was a good football player in high school despite my diminutive stature. 

Around that time, there was a hater named Saul.  The guy absolutely despised the Christians to a point he would go far away to find them, arrest them, and then bring them all the way back to have them in trial.  He was the infamous guy who held people's coats while they stoned and murdered Stephen in Acts 7.  This infamous hater was on his way to Damascus when he had a conversion experience.  The Lord Jesus met Saul and revealed Himself to him.  Saul was saved and became Paul.  He changed from being a hater of truth to a lover of Jesus.  He was blinded by his vision of Jesus, but in reality, he could really see for the first time in his life.  After this experience, Paul tried to join the church.  But according to Acts 9:26, the disciples were afraid and didn't believe that Paul had really been transformed.  Here I can totally emphatize with the disciples.  Paul's reputation precedes him and here he is, the persecutor who hates the church and now he wants to join the fellowship?  I don't think so.  Rightly so, the disciples were afraid that this could be a trick to deceive the Christians.  But this is where our hero shows up.  Verse 27 says, "BUT Barnabas took him (Paul) and brought him to the apostles.  He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus."  Barnabas encouraged the disciples to accept Paul into their fellowship and it worked.  Later on, Barnabas would accompany Paul on his missionary journeys.  Think for a moment where Paul would be without Barnabas supporting him and encouraging him.  As the Holy Spirit inspired him, Paul would go on to author almost two thirds of the New Testament.  Where would Paul be without Barnabas?  Then again, where would we be without Paul? 

Barnabas is a hero!  And who doesn't need to be encouraged today?  I know I do.  I think everyone needs to be encouraged in some way or another often.  Everyone needs a Barnabas in their life.  And everyone should strive to be a Barnabas to someone every single day.  Opportunities abound for us to encourage someone whether in word or deed... all we have to do is open our eyes and see.

"A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success."
(unknown)