Justin Kim

Home Sweet Home

 

So I've been out of town for awhile.  Actually, I've been of the country for awhile.  My family and I left for missions on January 4th and we just got back the other day.  Boy, it's good to be home again!  And when we came back, there were all these changes that had happened while we were gone. 

Two of my church staff members got engaged!  Congrats to D. Cho & Christina!  Congrats to Jimmy & Gina! 

The Seahawks fired their coach only after one season and hired Pete Carroll from USC.  I was thrilled about this but I'm come to realize that not everyone shares my sentiment. 

My Redskins hired a new coach in Mike Shananan which makes them a definitive front-runner to win next year's Superbowl! 

And then, of course... there were the earthquakes, first in California and then the big one in Haiti.  I had heard about the earthquakes during my mission trip but didn't know exactly how devastating the Haiti quake was until I got to Korea.  Where we were, we didn't get good internet connection and also a lot of the media was censored a bit.  In any case, I'm proud that our church is stepping up and taking real steps to bring aid to Haiti.  We are sending a team of medical professionals, along with other volunteers this coming Friday to Haiti.  We collected a love offering yesterday and all of it will go to help people there.

I was only gone for 19 days but so much has happened in such a short period of time.  My wife and I were talking and it felt like we were gone much longer than that.  It's good to be home nonetheless and to continue our ministry back here in Seattle.  

Baby Baby

Yesterday, my wifey and I went to the hospital to visit our dear friends who just had their second kid.  Baby Kailie is beautiful!  She came into the world weighing just 6 lbs, 7 oz.  Mother, father, and baby are all doing well.  It was fun to be in that small hospital room with 5 little ones.  Noah, Ellie, Ryan, Tabitha, and Kailie.  The nurse came in to check on the mother and she was shocked to see so many toddlers/infants in the room!  But us parents/grandparents loved it!  Yesterday, not long after we came back home from the hospital, I got a phone call from another couple at our church who was in labor.  An hour later, baby Ayane came into the world weighing just 6 lbs, 2 oz.  I hear that mother, father, and baby are doing well.  My family and I hope to visit them later today.  We know of at least three other couples in our congregation who are prego and we are so excited to see the Lord bless our peeps with children.  Children truly are a blessing despite the amount of work that goes into raising a child. 

And it seems like baby news abounds these days.  I lived in Florida for about three years.  I hear many of my dear friends in Florida just had their babies or have one in the oven getting them ready.  It's exciting news for me especially because these friends are very dear to me.  My own little sister is about to have her first in a few weeks.  That means my parents will have two grandkids and my daughter will have a cousin to play with.  Babies are amazing!  I remember reading Psalm 139 often when my wifey was prego with Tabs.  Sometimes I stare at my daughter while she's sleeping or playing and I just marvel at God's beautiful work.  She is a masterpiece!  I look at her hands and feet, her fingers and toes, her eyes when she stares back at me.  I love kissing her hair, nose, ears, lips... she definitely is a reflection of half Justin, half Virginia.  But more than anything, she is a true reflection of our God.  She's beautiful like our God.  What a huge and horrible task we have as parents to protect them, provide for them, and to lead them in the way of the Lord and yet, what incredible privilege, blessing and joy to be given the task!  Jesus said in Mark 10:14 to let the little ones come to him.  He loved children!  He told believes to be like children in the sense of having faith and trust and dependence like they do.  We need to mature and graduate from milk to solid food but in the area of faith and trust, we are encouraged to emulate our children. 

Sometimes I look at Tabitha and I can't help but smile.  She's growing so fast.  Her personality is coming out.  I think she's going to be a handful to her mother and father.  But I love every minute I have with her.  What a precious gift she is from the Lord.  There are moments when I catch myself still amazed and shocked that I'm a daddy... that I have a daughter and a beautiful wifey.  I love it! 

  

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fear

Being scared is not fun.  Some people may find a certain thrill to it and that's why they watch horror movies, but I don't like being scared.  Who in the right mind likes being scared?  Most people probably would like to be thought of as someone who is bold, courageous and fearless.  These characteristics, after all, are admired and celebrated.  To be afraid is to be a wuss.  "Don't be a wimp!" is something I often heard growing up.  I hate watching horror films because I think fear is unhealthy.  Fear is of the devil.  The only scary stuff that I like to watch either on the big screens or on the television are zombie or vampire stuff.  I think it's because they remind me something of the world... that the whole human race is like the zombies or vampires if they don't know and embrace the gospel of Jesus.  They're alive but not really.  They move but really, they're dead. 

When I was young, my parents left me home alone one night to go somewhere.  I can't remember now where they went but it was the first time I was left home alone.  My parents asked me and I said I could do it.  Actually, I think I was the one to encourage them to leave because I thought to myself, "This is going to be great!  I can watch whatever I want on the television and I can eat whatever I want from the refrigerator!"  Well, that night... a thunderstorm came through the area.  I'm talking major lightning strikes that were thunderous along with heavy down-pour.  My parents said they'd be home at a certain time but they were really late.  As the hours went by and they didn't call or come home, I got more afraid by the second.  I was a boy gripped with fear!  I was so scared that night to a point that I can still recall this experience even now after many years have passed. 

Fear is an interesting emotion.  Stephen King, the prolific writer of horror books says that fear is the most physically debilitating of human emotions.  The blood pounds, the pores gush, the heart-rate increases.  Fear is the root of everything bad.  All sadness is based on fear.  Fear is a powerful emotion and I guess that's why Stephen King writes so many horror stuff and that's the reason why I dislike fear. 

Many people have asked me since I moved out to Seattle... whether I was afraid of the big move and whether I was afraid of doing ministry far away from close family and friends.  My answers were always, "Yes!  I was deeply afraid about the big move and about doing ministry at my new church."  I remember being incredibly afraid about my move to Seattle.  I felt like everyone I was talking to was trying to discourage me, intimidate me and tell me how difficult moving to Seattle and doing ministry here was going to be.  I thought to myself that no one needed to discourage me or to make me afraid because I already was!  You see, whenever I think about my ministry, I get incredibly fearful.  I think to myself, "Can God really use me?"  I know that I have to be more prayerful, more disciplined, be more on target with my sermons.  I know myself and I am lazy and undisciplined... I lack wisdom.  Those who knew about us moving to Seattle also knew how insecure I felt and how much fear I had in making such a big move and also doing ministry in the Northwest.  But here's the thing... the thought that came to me over and over again was ... it’s not about me.  It should be about Him.  Because after all, God’s going to do the ministry, not me.  He’ll do ministry through me.  I just need to trust God and allow Him to use me. 

I should be more confident not because I think I can do this, but because I know that God has sent me here... He’s commissioned my wife and I to be here.  It was so tough to say good-bye to family and friends on the East Coast.  Sometimes, there are days when I miss them terribly.  I think it would have been a lot easier just to have stayed in the East Coast, but I knew that God was calling us to Seattle and to leave the comfort and to take a step of faith.  To take the risk and to be challenged. 

I know to be more confident because I serve a Mighty God and He’s going to do some awesome things here in Seattle.  What should I be afraid?  Whom shall I fear? 

Psalm 23:4, “I will fear no evil!”
Psalm 27:1, “Whom shall I fear?”
Isaiah 35:4, “Be strong, do not fear.”
Joshua 1:6, “Be strong and courageous.”
1 Timothy 4:12, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.”

That night, when I was home alone amidst the biggest and longest thunderstorm I've ever experienced, I remember praying for God to help me to overcome my fear.  I prayed for my parents and my sister to come home.  I prayed that God would protect me and make me feel better.  I believe He heard my prayers that night and I believe He still hears my prayers today.  Later that night, my parents did come home.  They had some car trouble along the way which caused them to be so late.  I was so mad at them!  But at the same time, I was so relieved and happy to see them.  

What are you fearful of today?  Fear of failure?  Fear of death?  Fear of life?  Fear of being lonely?  Fear of dying alone?  Fear that you'll be single for the rest of your life?  Fear that you won't ever be a parent?  Fear of drowning?  Fear of people?  Fear that no one loves you?  Fear that no one cares about you?  Fear of your parents passing away?  Fear of work?  Fear of being found out?  Fear of scary animals?  Fear of bugs?  Fear of rejection?  Fear of work?  Fear of ministry?  Fear of being poor?  Fear of losing your house?  Fear of losing your job?  Fear of being friendless?  Fear that your team will never win the championship?  Fear of the future?  Fear that your past will catch up to you?  Fear of the dark?  Fear of the devil?  Fear that you can't do it?  Fear that you won't make it?  Fear that everything will go wrong?  Fear of being a bad husband?  Fear of being a bad wife?  Fear of being a bad sibling?  Fear of losing a friend?  Fear of getting into a car accident?  Fear of being late?  Fear of your boss?  Fear that your relationship will end?  Fear that you'll get a bad grade in class?  Fear that you can't cut it?  Fear that you're not smart enough?  Fear of being fearful?  Fear of not having enough strength and courage in your life?  Fear, fear, fear!  What are you fearful of today?   

"Dear Lord,
I am human so forgive me if I have fear in my heart.  I fear failure and not doing a good job.  I fear of being smug and being self-content.  I fear people.  I need you to guide me and give me great wisdom.  I need your strength, perseverance and your Holy Spirit to rest upon me.  My preaching needs to be better not so that people will be enamored with me, but so that they will be fed like never before... so that they might see the glory of Christ and a clearer revelation of who You are.  I need to be more prayerful not so that I can boast in my spirituality, but so that I can find myself humbled and be more dependent on you than on my own limited gifts and talents.  I need to be more studious and more spiritual.  I need You and I need to hear Your voice more than anything else.

O God, rid of me any fears!  Fear of man, fear of failure, fear of indifference, fear of the future... every fear except the fear of the Lord!  Breathe strength and courage into my heart and my soul! 

In Jesus’ Mighty Name,
Amen!"

Racism

Racism sucks!  I absolutely hate it!  When I lived in the East Coast, I saw a lot of racist activity.  I saw my parents being looked down upon because they couldn't understand nor speak English well.  Growing up in school, I remember being overlooked on athletic teams because they thought that an Asian couldn't play sports.  They're too small and short.  Tell that to my wrestling coach who wanted nothing but Koreans on this team!  He'd tell you otherwise.  Coach Paul Labazetta would say that we Asians were his best athletes!  My best friend in elementary and junior high school was a African-American kid name Jason.  Jason Ford and I hung out all the time.  He'd come over and eat my Frosted Flakes and my kimich bowl ramen.  His parents would sometimes pick me up and take me to school.  We played basketball and tennis together all the time.  It was great!  I miss my friend and I often wonder what he's doing now or how he's doing.  But there were many other times during my schooling days, I saw a lot of junk and prejudice mentality. 

Even in seminary, I experienced subconscious racism from the faculty and students.  I don't think they meant it, but that's exactly the problem.  How could they not know?!  Now, I loved my seminary and I loved what I learned from there.  It's prepared me well for ministry but there were at times, I just felt out of place.  I think a lot of that of me but also, a lot of that was ignorance and not wanting to accept folks who were different.  I heard about how a professor saying, "For an oriental, you sure preach well in English!"  Or I remember one time, I tried walking into a prayer group and he said, "Whoa there... this group is only for Gringos." I had no idea what he was talking about.  I still have no idea what he was talking about.  I tried to play sports with some of my fellow students... and I know I wasn't the best out there but still, I felt slighted and overlooked not because of my lack of skills, but because of my ethnicity.  Now, I know I'm generalizing.  I'm sure others have had different experiences, but I sure didn't.  And sincerely, I think my friends from seminary didn't mean to come across like that, but they did.  I think I could've been different as well.  I could've reached out more and tried to initiate more and I wish I had.  After awhile, I just felt more comfortable with my church friends who were mostly Asian like me.  I think I just felt "safe" there.

I'm writing this because on the East Coast, despite the age in which we live in... I'm accustomed to the fact that there's still racism in our society.  I see it every day.  And if you look even closer... my friends and mentors like Soong-Chan Rah would say that racism is alive and well in this country.  We have an African-American President and still, we see it everyday if you look closely.  On the East Coast, I'm just used to it. My family and I moved out to the beautiful North-West earlier this year.  I'm sure racism exists here as well, but I haven't seen much yet till recently.  This is probably so minor compared to what others face everyday... and my experiences are nothing compared to what others have experienced.  My beautiful wifey is preparing to run a 10k this coming Sat.  So she's been training and running to prepare for it.  We live in Bothell, which is a very qaint and quiet suburb north of downtown Seattle.  So the other day, my wifey is running and a car comes by and intentially goes over a big puddle of water to splash her.  My wifey got splashed and her new running shoes got dirtied up.  Now, this is when I got hot with anger!  Another car comes by and honks their horn while yelling at my wifey, "Ching, Chung, Kong!!!" and... well, you know how it goes.  When my wifey told me this, I wanted to grab my baseball bat and tee off of these knuckleheads!  I started dreaming and planning to run the following day, the same route in hopes that these idiots would come back again and do the same thing... but I'd have a baseball in my hand to beam their car.  If they were little and scrawny, I thought to myself that I'd take them on.  But if they were big and muscular... I'd run for it!  But in any case, I wanted some pay back! 

What was surprising to me was that this happened here in Bothell.  The Northwest generally seems more accepting of diversity.  Even the major local news stations have Asians as their leading anchors and driving around our area, you just see so many Asians and other ethnic folks.  This is a beautiful melting pot of a place to live!    

Going back to what happened to my wifey... to her credit, she wasn't as hot about it as I was.  She was just like "whatever."  She didn't care.  I don't know whether I admired that or bothered by that.  I admired her for her patience and just accepting the fact that we live in a world like this.  But it also bothered me because this is unacceptable!  Why does it have to be like this?  This is not right and this is not how we were meant to live... hating one another and making fun of one another because we're different.  In fact, I think it's our differences that bring out the beauty in humanity.  If we can live in unity despite our diversity, it brings glory to God.  I guess this will only be realized in glory, in heaven.  I know for a fact that every nation, every tongue and every peoples of the world will one day bow down before the King of all kings.  I know that in heaven, we will see no more racism.  That day will be a great day.  This will all be possible because Jesus died not just for the Jews, but for all the Gentiles as well.  He died for all the peoples of the world. 

The Money god

"The lover of money will not be satisfied with money; nor the lover of wealth, with gain. This also is vanity. When goods increase, those who eat them increase; and what gain has their owner but to see them with his eyes?"  - Ecclesiastes 5:10-11

I preached on money, wealth and finances this past Sunday.  It's not my favorite subject or theme to preach from the pulpit.  I've seen too many churches get jacked up because of money issues and I know that talking about money in the church is always a sensitive thing.  Three subjects that I've noticed to really put people on the edge of their seats and make them feel uncomfortable are the subjects of sex, politics and money.  This coming Sunday, I'll be preaching on sex and this past Sunday, I preached on money... so it'll be interesting to see the response I'll get from my congregation these next two weeks.  But regardless of the responses and whether people like it or not, the Bible has a lot to say about these subjects.  So I tackled the subject of money & finances.  I know that these are tough times economically.  I know of folks in my own church who are dealing with joblessness and struggling to make ends meet.  But I think it is imperative that the Church, the people of God, understand that we must not allow money to be the source of our hope, our security, our identity, our significance... to be a god in our lives. 

Now, I don't want to write my whole sermon here... it would be too long for you to read and you probably don't have all the time in the world to be reading blogs anyways.  But here's what I've got to say about money. 

Money is relatively a good thing in the Bible... especially in the book of Proverbs.  We all need money to make it in this world.  The Church needs money to do ministry and so on and so forth.  There is a strong connection between hard work, originality, creativity, self-control, discipline with prospering... prospering materially and economically.  Proverbs like "Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth," or "He who gathers crops in the summer is wise, but he who sleeps during harvest time is disgraceful."  Proverbs 10:22 says, "The blessing of the LORD brings wealth."  So money and wealth are incredibly great gifts from God.  But money also has incredible spiritual danger attached to it.  For example, money has the power to destroy integrity according to Proverbs 11:1.  Secondly, money has the power to destroy community because you become self-absorbed according to Proverbs 11:26.  Thirdly, money has the power to distract us from what is really important in life.  Proverbs 11:4 says, "Wealth is worthless in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death."  This verse is talking about judgment day.  Questions like "What is my life amount to?", "What am I really doing with my life?", "What difference am I making in the world?", "Who am I really helping?", and "What contribution am I making?."  Wealth blinds us to judgment day questions.  Wealth instead pulls us away and sucks us into a frantic cycle and a frantic life of consumption. 

Lastly, money makes us proud and over-confident according to Proverbs 30:8-9.  When people have money, they often tend to say, "I don't need God.  Why in the world would I need God for?  I have everything I want and need."  Who's the LORD?"  There is nothing like economic success to make one feel over-confident.  The more money a person makes and the more successful he or she becomes, the more the person will think he or she got it because they were so smart or so disciplined.  And this makes the person feel over-confident and proud.  Bernard of Clairvaus once said, "To see a man humble under prosperity is the greatest rarity in the world."  

I don't know about you but integrity and character, community and humility are all important to me.  I don't want the might of money to destroy these things in me.  I don't want money to control me and how I live my life.  My wifey and I are not rich.  We don't have anything saved up for the future but we are hoping to start very soon.  We only have one car.  We don't own a house... we rent.  We live off of one income so that my wifey can stay home and be a mom to our daughter... it's been tough at times.  We've had to dip into our savings and learn some hard lessons along the way.  Budgeting and staying true to our budget has been equally difficult especially for a guy like me who's not as detailed oriented.  But with all of this, still I feel that we are incredibly rich and wealthy.  We've always had food on our tables and a roof over our heads.  We're not living for this world or trying to be comfortable.  We're trying to be more "Christ-like."  This world is not our home.  We are just passing through.  We are resident aliens in this world.  We have a Father who owns a thousand cattle on a thousand hills.  My Father is rich!  We know that there are people all over the world that can't eat like we do and don't have anything near what we have in terms of shelter and just basic neccesities of life.  So what God gives to us, we accept and we are thankful.  I know that others who read this will not like what I've written.  But it's safe to say that all of us (including myself), whether we know it or not, or whether we like it or not... have too much love for money.  It has become either our significance or our security.  Money either makes you feel important and proud or it makes you feel safe and secure.  Instead of God being our significance and security, money is.  It is the alternative to God and it has enormous spiritual power over us. 

We need to be aware of this.  Now if you are someone who is struggling to make ends meet... or maybe you're not even doing that... I know that our country is in recession.  But God is still God and He is still in control.  He's sovereign over the affairs of men.  He knows what He is doing.  We can trust Him for all things.  And even if God doesn't do what we'd like for Him to do concerning our money and finances... let that not change our commitment to live for Him and our devotion to Him.  Even if He doesn't save us from this economic crunch, "Blessed be His Holy Name!"  You have a wealth Father and you are truly rich beyond all measure. 

Habakkuk 3:17-18, "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on teh vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there areno sheep in the pen and no cattle in teh stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior."

If God has given you wealth, that's great.  More power to you... or I should say, "more money to you!"  But with wealth comes great responsibility to be a great steward of what God has given you.  Use it wisely.  Apply the scattering principle, which is that the more you scatter your wealth, the more you'll gather wealth in a different form.  It's called "Agricultural wealth."  Proverbs 11:24 and Psalm 112 pretty much says that he who scatters gathers and he who gathers scatters.  It's a paradox, but it works in God's economy.  In agriculture, you scatter seed and the more you scatter, the more you gather.  The more you sow, the more you reap.  But if you hold onto our seeds and won't scatter them, you'll starve.  But if you're willing to scatter your seeds and give it all away, you'll gather.  Now when you gather, it comes back in a better form.  The only way for you to turn your wealth into real riches is by giving it away.  I'm not talking about the wealth and health prosperity junk that's out there.  I'm not saying that if you give it away, God is somehow going to make you richer in the end... no.  I'm saying God will give you wealth in a different form.  Also, you will have broken the power of money over yourself. 

In 2 Corinthians 8, St. Paul is trying to get people to give to the poor.  And in doing so, he doesn't go after their will.  He doesn't say to them, "You better give or God is going to punish you!"  He also doesn't go after their emotions.  He doesn't say to them, "You have to give because these people are so poor and look how much they're suffering..."  He goes after their hearts!  2 Corinthians 8:8 says, "No!  Listen.  You know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.  That though He was rich, for our sake He became poor.  So that you through His poverty might become rich."  He's talking about Jesus.  Jesus Christ on the cross was literally broken into pieces.  On the cross, he was broken.  On the cross, he was distributed.  On the cross, he was scattered.  Why?  So that we could be gathered.  Paul is calling us to see that Jesus on the Cross became the ultimate scattering to gather, the ultimate example of agricultural wealth.  The cross is the picture of the ultimate act of generosity, the ultimate act of wealth distribution, the ultimate place of becoming poor in order to get real riches.  Jesus gave up heaven and glory because He valued us more than those things.  Jesus Christ is the ultimate treasure who died for us.  Give your wealth away and you'll receive ultimate joy.

I think the church needs to learn how to tithe.  How a church gives is a reflection of how the church is doing.  Proverbs 11:24 says, "One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty."  The part about "withholds unduly..." is talking about a stingy person who is not giving away what is required.  What would be required?  In the Bible, it says 10%.  In many places in the Bible, it's says that if you're not giving away at least 10% of your income to charity and to ministry every year, then you are disobeing God's rule for generosity.  But I think it's more than that... tithe is the rule, but the Cross is the wisdom.  Jesus didn't save us by tithing His blood.  Jesus didn't save us by tithing His glory.  We are alive by His giving of everything!  Jesus' Cross means sacrificial giving.  Don't you dare think you're being wise about money if you only tithe!  If it's not making any measureable difference in the way in which you live, in the way in which you do things, in the way you take your vacations, in the way in which you buy things... you're obeying the rule, but you haven't brought the cross into your economic life.  Everything already belongs to God... He's just letting us keep most of what He's given to us.  An authentic believer who is striving to live in obedience to God, who is loving God will tithe faithfully to his or her church, but on top of that... they will give sacrificially to charities and to missionaries and to other ministries.  This is hard, but this is God's wisdom for His people. 

Jesus Christ gave himself away and look at his harvest!  It's you... it's me... it's the people of God! 

"No one can sever two masters.  Either you will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.  You cannot serve both God and Money." (Matthew 6:24)

"Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness.  Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD.  But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living.  But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."  (Joshua 24:14-15)

As for the Kim Family... we will serve the LORD! 

Hail to the Redskins

"Haill to the Redskins!  Hail Victory!  Braves on the War-path... fight for ol' DC!!!"

It's that time of the year again... Football season is here!  I love both college and professional football.  I don't really root for any particular team in college football... I always just rooted for any school from the great state of Virginia.  It looks like Virginia Tech, ranked preseason #6 will have a great season.  I also enjoy following UVA and I still keep up with my Duke Dawgs of JMU.  But now that I live here in the great state of Washington, I will happily root for the UW Huskies.  I know, I know... they were 0-50 last season, but they have a new head coach and I think there is an air of excitement for the Huskies this season.  The new coach will bring in a new attitude and he'll change things around.  I can feel it in my bones!  Plus, the gold and purple reminds me of JMU where I went to school.  Seriously, I think UW will have a great season this year and I'm going to cheer them on shamelessly and proudly!

In terms of the NFL, there's no doubt about it... I've always been a Skins' fan and I ain't going to change now.  The Seattle Seaturkeys will be my second fave but the Redskins are still number 1 in my heart.  This year is going to rock!  I can feel it... Superbowl is on the horizon and the Seaturkeys are going to regret letting go Jim Zorn and hiring Jim Mora, Jr.  Albert Haynesworth and Jason Campbell will lead the team to a great season! 

My wifey also loves the Redskins!  She likes to watch them on television and cheer them on with me.  Here and there, she'll ask questions about what's going on during the game, but it's totally cool.  I love explaining the game to my wifey.  She knows who the players are by name.  To make things even better... my dream of having a family that loves the Redskins is slowly being realized.  A few months ago, my baby daughter Tabitha... made a very tough and important decision in her life.  Yes.  She decided to become a Redskin's fan.  I was so happy.  I couldn't believe it.  It made my day and I was almost in tears... wow!  Thank you, Lord!  You do answer our prayers! 

Wedding Bliss

In less than two hours, I will be officiating a wedding.  It will be my second time ever officiating a wedding and for some reason, I'm not that nervous.  I was incredibly nervous at my first one, but I feel more confident today.  As I have a moment right now, I'm feeling incredibly contemplative and nostalgic about my own wedding day.  My wifey and I got married on November 24, 2007.  I can't believe how fast time has flown by, but I still remember that day as if it happened yesterday.  We had a great wedding rehearsal and dinner with family and friends.  Our wedding day itself was just perfect.  The autumn falls were turning and falling and despite being a bit chilly, the sun was out.  I woke up knowing that my life is about to change forever.  Not only that, I woke up incredibly thankful that God brought me the perfect girl for me.  I had waited 30 years for her and today, I was going to meet my soul-mate. 

 

We woke up early to take pictures... first at the hotel and then at the church.  It was a great time of fellowship and fun as the guys and gals in the wedding party laughed and posed and pretended that we were all superstars.  I began to get really nervous about half an hour before the start of the ceremony.  My boys and I went to the side of the room and they prayed over me.  They prayed for me, for Virginia, for our marriage, and for our ceremony.  I was so encouraged and so thankful for my groomsmen.  The wedding started and off we went to our places.  The Processional went perfectly with each bridesmaids coming down beautifully and radiantly.  All eyes were rightly fixed on them.  Even the flower girl, Eden, and the ring boy, Curtis... they were just perfect!  And then finally, my beautiful bride made her entrance with her dad.  Whenever I am in guest at a wedding, at these moments when the bride makes her entrance, I would often look back at the groom standing at the altar.  I would like to see what his reaction was.  Often, the look on the groom's face was blissful joy.  I wondered what people would think when they looked at my face.  All I remember is that my eyes were glued to her and it was the happiest moment of my life.  She was beautiful... splendidly dressed in her white gown... indescribable joy welled up in me.  I was in love all over again.  And in my heart and mind, I praised God for giving me such a wonderful gift. 

 

The ceremony went perfectly.  The officiating pastor did a superb job.  Everyone who was involved with the ceremony, including our wedding coordinators did a great job.  I was so happy.  My new bride was so happy.  The reception times were fun and full of laughter.  My favorite part was watching my wifey dance with her daddy.  It was a dance of love.  I don't remember much from the reception, except that we took a lot of pictures and laughed a lot.  I do remember my wifey and I winning the dancing competition.  It was great!

I think it's so right to have a wedding in front of family and friends because to not do so would not do justice to the great moment.  I think it's also right that these great moments are celebrated in the Presence of God.  Weddings are important to God.  Marriage was sanctified and blessed by God.  The Book of Ephesians exalts marriage as the clearest picture of Christ's relationship with His church.  Among all human relationships, marriage is the most sacred, satisfying and permanent. 

Lord, you are a God of love.  Thank you for lavishing love upon my wifey and me.  May our lives be marked with love that comes from knowing you.

Bless me as a husband.  May my strength be her protection, my character be her boast and her pride and may I live in such a way that she may find in me the haven for which the heart of a woman truly longs. 

Bless my loving wife.  Give her a tenderness that will make her great, and a deep sense of understanding and a great faith in you.  Giver her that inner beauty of soul that never fades, that eternal youth that is found in holding fast the things that never age.

Teach us that marriage is not living merely for each other; it is two uniting and joining hands to serve you.  Give us a greater spiritual purpose in life.  May we seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness.  May we minimize each other's weaknesses, be swift to praise and magnify each other's strengths, and see each other through a lover's kind and patient eyes.

May we never take each other's love for granted.  And when life is done and the sun is setting, may we be found then as now still, thanking God for each other.  May we serve you happily, faithfully, together, until at least one shall lay the other in the arms of God.  Amen. 

Thank you for the gift of marriage.  Thank you my wifey. 

Anger!

I've been around a angry dad for many years.  When I was growing up, I saw my dad blow up in anger so often.  Half the time I couldn't even figure out why he was so ticked.  My mom thinks it's because he was in the Vietnam War and he saw a lot of violence and experienced horrible things.  Added to that, the hard life of an immigrant and trying to cope with a new environment, a new culture and language... it adds up and I can see why my dad had so many frustrations in him.  In Korea, he was high up in the Korean Army.  From what I've heard, he had a great career and he was well respected.  He was a man of dreams and all of those dreams died when he moved to the U.S.  From a highly respectable place in society and career, he ended up working in a Dry Cleaning business.  Nothing against Dry Cleaning... it's helped put my sister and I through college and put food on our tables.. it's hard work, but we've done okay.  But I've seen my dad deal with awful customers and just being unable to communicate his feelings.  I love my dad.  But I hated his angry temperament.  When I was younger, I thought my dad passed his anger onto me.  I'd blow up out of nowhere.  Twice, my dad and I had a physical altercation.  Those days were tough days.  My dad is different now.  He's changed significantly.  A lot of this change came about because of his faith and his maturity in Christ.

But going back to anger... this emotion has a powerful affect on people's lives.  Proverbs 14:29-30 and other places in the Wisdom literature tell us that anger has so much power to destroy and disintegrate.  It has the power to destroy your physical life, your community, and your will.  Anger is an explosion, the dynamite of the soul.  Anger can be so destructive. 

But anger is also basically a good thing.  Proverbs 16:32 says, "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city."

The principle in the Bible concerning anger is not no anger, or blowing up anger, but rather slow anger.  According to the Bible, the ideal is slow anger.  This is confusing since I always thought we were suppose to be people who never got angry.  In Ephesians 4:26, Paul says, "In your anger, do not sin."  In other words, be angry, but sin not!  John Chrysostom, an early Christian preacher summarizes the goodness of anger perfectly.  He said, "He that is angry without cause sins; he that is not angry when there is cause, sins.  For unreasonable patience is the hotbed of many vices." 

I realize this is so because God is like this.  God is slow to anger.  The Bible again and again says, "God is slow to anger.  I've heard people say things like, "I believe in a God of love, not in a God who gets angry."  But after further thought, if you have a God who never gets angry, you can't have a God of love... because if you never ever get angry about anything, you don't love anything.  If you love and you see what you love being threatened, you'll get angry!  If you're indifferent, you're not in love.  I think true love always gets angry.  Love, in its uncorruppted origin is just love moved to deal with the threat to someone you love.  And this is wy when the Bible says God is angry all the time is because He is a God of love.  God is angry at the cancer of sin that's destroying the human race, which He made and He loves.  If you look at Jesus in the Bible, he got angry a lot because he loves and cares.  He got angry at the money changers at the temple in John 2.  He got angry at the religious leaders in Mark 3.  He got angry at the tomb of Lazarus in John 11.  He got angry because he was a man of love, of perfect love, of pure love.  He gets angry, but he sins not. 

We get angry because our anger is disordered.  Our disordered anger comes from our disordered love.  St. Augustine says that the biggest problem we have is disordered loves.  Disordered loves means that there are many things in this world that are good like your family, your kids, your jobs, your accomplishments, etc.  There are many things in this world that are good, but we turn good things into ultimate things.  We don't just love things that are good, but we look to these things to give us the happiness, the significance, and the security and the self worth that only God can give.  We have disordered love, which leads to disordered anger.  But anger that is proper and right is anger that comes from a deep place of knowing God and caring for which that He cares for.  Fighting off indifference and loving people and a healthy anger that is slow to come about.

When we consider God... I think in reality, though many would not admit it... we are mad at Him.  We want this and we want that, but God hasn't given it to us and we are mad.  We are in denial but the proof that we are mad at God and it's the most unjustified, the most disordered, the most hurful possible rage, but the proof that it is there is when God became human and we killed him.  When God became vulnerable and killable, we killed him.  When He got within our clutches, we took hold of Him and we took him to the cross and we mocked him.  We beat him.  We tortured him.  We reviled him.  Jesus didn't just our undeserved anger, but He also took the anger we deserved.  In the Garden of Gethsemane, he asked that the cup of God's wrath... the cup of God's anger be lifted away from him but if it be God's will, he would do it.  On the cross, Jesus took our anger which He did not deserve, but He also took the anger that we deserved.  He could've paid us back with righteous anger, but instead with gentle words, Jesus said, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." 

Thank you Jesus.  

My Pimple

I have a giant size pimple growing on my nose.  I didn't realize that I was still in puberty!  It all began on Sat. morning.  I felt something on my face as I was washing up in the morning.  I didn't think twice about it and just went about my business throughout the day.  I went to a great picnic for our church marriage and family life ministry and then when I came back, there it was!  I was red in the face and I initially thought that I got sun-burned.  But upon a closer examination, I saw a mammoth sized pimple right on my nose!  I mean this sucker hurt and it was getting bigger and bigger!

 

 

So a pimple, or acne, is a very common skin condition that affects most teenagers at puberty.  But the only thing is... I'm not a teenager and I ain't in puberty anymore.  So what caused my nose to have a titantic zip?  I found out that a pimple begins as a blockage to a oil gland duct.  Something called sebaceous gland duct is blocked but oil from your face continues to be produced and the gland keeps getting bigger and bigger, a bit like a balloon.  Bacteria then grows in the blocked gland and produce fatty acids, which eventually bursts and releases the irritating material.  This causes intense inflammation and swelling which is what we see as the pimple.  I don't ever remember having too many pimples on my face during my teenage years.  I called my mom to tell her about my pimple on my nose and she just laughed at me.  She said that I'm too stressed and also that I'm watching too much television.  What?!  How can watching too much television get me a pimple?  My mom is crazy!

My wifey said my pimple has turned into a boil.  I said, "What's a boil?"  She said, "A boil is something larger than a pimple.  It's like the bigger, older brother of a pimple."  Oh boy... I've got a brother of a pimple hanging out on the tip of my nose and it seems he won't be leaving for awhile. 

I put some skin medicine on my nose.  Nothing.  I put some white toothpaste on my nose.  Nothing.  I felt the burn of both medicine but the boil keeps growing.  I had to go in front of my whole church on Sunday and preach in front of them.  I need all the help I can get when I'm preaching and I'm sure having my congregation be distracted with a giant pimple on my face didn't help either.  The worst was when my senior pastor and his wifey came up to me and said, "Hey Justin, what's wrong with your face?  Did someone hit you?"  I told them that I had a pimple on my nose.  Their reaction?  Laughter as they walked away.  I felt like everyone was just staring at my nose instead of really talking to me.  My wifey and I went to Borders the other night to just read and hang out and everyone kept staring at my nose.  At the check out counter, I was buying a few stuff when I noticed the cashier staring at me... straight at my nose.  I wanted to say, "It's not nice to stare so stop it or I'll have to pop my zit onto you!" but I pimply and simply said, "Thanks" as I walked away.

Man, this sucker hurts.  My wifey began singing, "Rudulph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" the other day.  That was not funny.  Even my daughter has gotten into the act even though she probably doesn't know it yet.  I was holding her in my arms when she kept staring at my nose.  She kept reaching to touch my red zit.  Once or twice, she actually punched and scratched my nose which made me yell out loud because it hurt so much.  And then I found Tabitha smiling and giggling.  So sad.  Even my whole family is making fun of me.  

My mountain of a pimple has gotten bigger this morning.  I hope it will get to a point when it's ready to be popped.  My wifey said she will help me.  I think we'll need a whole roll of a paper towel to deal with the junk that's going to come out.  My younger sister, Olive, would love this.  She loves popping pimples.  I remember her coming up to me like a deranged animal with saliva oozing out of her mouth asking me if I had any pimples for her to pop.  I let her pop a few and she was really good at all.  But the scary part was she'd be so excited and having the best time of her life popping my pimples.  I bet if she was here, she'd be so eager and excited to get her claws on my boil.  Any ways, pray for me.  My pimple hurts and it's also very embarrassing.  I'm glad though that I don't need to be insecure.  I have a wifey who loves me and a daughter who adores me.  I have a God, who despite his predetermined knowledge of my pimple on my face, must have felt that this was good for me and loves me.  His love and grace is more than enough for me.  Romans 8:28... "All things work for the good of those who love Him."  All means all... good things and bad things... bad things from pimples on my face to major disasters in life.  All means all.  All things work for my good!  I believe it! 

Pimple be gone! 

Blue Poop

Okay, the blue poop turned out to be the blueberries that Tabitha was munching on.  It was bizarre to see a blueberry skin stuck in her butt-hole.  I carefully grabbed the skin and nonchalantly tossed into the trash can.  But blue poop?!  Have you ever seen blue poop?  Kids at this age seem to not worry what goes into their mouths at all.  I remember hearing about how a mom walked into a room to see her baby munching on something.  She wondered what the heck her daughter was eating because she didn't give her child anything.  It turned out to be a spider!  Imagine what could've come out of that child's butt!  I see Tabitha fearlessly putting everything and anything into her mouth.  It's probably because she's not used to having teeth.  I often see her shoving her whole hand into her mouth, feeling for the fangs that she's been given and then looking up at me as to say, "What the heck are these things in my mouth?  Why are they in my mouth?  What are they used for?"  I'd say, "They are used to bite people ... especially those that don't tithe and serve in the church... people like... "  I'm joking.  

One thing that's clear in all of this is that what goes in ultimately comes out.  Physically, if we eat something, it'll find it's way out somehow or another.  For example, blueberries = blue poop.  It's the same way spiritually and emotionally.  If we put unhealthy elements into our thinking and into our hearts, it's bound to find its way out.  Not only that, it affects us in a negative manner from the inside out.  Bad music, bad movies, bad words, bad literature, bad whatever... we put bad junk in us and it begins to pollute our thinking and our feeling and it affects everything in us.  It's the same concept as "you play with fire, you're bound to get burned."  Well, you put bad things in you... it's going to come out of you as well.  We best be wise about what's going in us because it does affect us.  I think about the verse found in 1 Cor. 10:23, "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.  Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive."  You can do whatever you want, but why do it if it's not beneficial?   If it's not constructive and helpful to yourself, to others, to the situation... why do it? 

What goes in ultimately comes out.  More of His grace, more of His love... more of Jesus... I want more of Him in me.